3 Easy Lessons on How To Get Real Closure In Ten Minutes or Less (Read This)
Healing Vibes coming your way in 3, 2, 1…..One of the keys towards cultivating genuine and deep connections is to heal from connections that have caused you pain in the past. In this writing, I want to keep it simple and give you three points of emphasis, that I feel like gave me all the closure I needed to move on when I was stuck. I believe that these emphasis points, if focused on greatly, will be your salvation away from the pain.
Living in Reality and Not Fantasies: Back in 2014, I was writing a book on self-love that became my first best-seller. The book took an introspective look at a man’s journey through his deepest and toughest two relationships. He wanted to figure out how to treat his woman, how to cultivate a healthy vibration between them and how to stay motivated on his purpose. If you want to read about that book, you can find it here. My favorite quote from the book is at the end. Every six or seven months, I repost it to my social media accounts because I love the healing words that much. Every time I share it, it brings my readers a great deal of healing and relief. Today, I will share those words with you below:
“Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could’ve been.”
— sylvester mcnutt III
Going Through A Breakup or Separation: If you’re going through a breakup the worst mistake you can do is pursue the other person for closure or wait for them to deliver it to you. They don’t owe you that. They’re hurting too. They don’t have to explain anything to you. Your expectations that they should heal you or care enough aren’t important to the big picture of your healing process. If you want closure, look within. If you want closure you must accept reality and you have to breakup with the fantasies that are polluting your soul. If you want closure, its up to you to move on, not them. They have their own closure process and they’re not required to talk to you, to explain themselves or to do anything for you. This is not cold or mean, it’s just the circle of life, and if you want to be happy you have to move on. If its over, live in the reality of it being over, and don’t live in the fantasy that it will change magically. Stop chasing them. Let them go. Just breathe. Take it day by day and focus on healing and reality. That is how you let go. I cannot sugarcoat this and make it sweeter. The truth is, you have to accept that it is over.
Seek Something New Not A Person: If there is something or someone you have to let go of and let’s just assume you were just in an entanglement with someone, moving on to another person may not be a good idea. You need to move on to something new but it may not be a new person, let me explain. Some dating coaches say that getting a quick hookup in will help you move on. Some take the opposing opinion and say that hooking up will ruin your emotions and will make the recovery deeper and darker for you. Honestly, it depends on the person, how they’re processing the situation and their perspective of casual sex at the moment. It depends on how you process your emotions. It depends on how you feel about casual sex. Personally, my advice isn't to do either one of those. My advice is to move on to something new like a new hobby, a new creative outlet or even a new apartment. When I got out of a relationship in 2014 I moved out of my apartment, attended a new gym and started shopping at a new grocery store. I moved on to what felt like a new life. When I say seek something new, that is exactly what I mean. Maybe you need to start painting again. Maybe you should take up Crossfit or yoga. Maybe you should start volunteering at a dog shelter near you. New activities and situations spark your brain and create new pathways for you to process information. One of the main reasons people never get closure is because they stay in the same situations mentally.
Breakup With The Timetable and Stay Present: The key to your happiness rests in between each little moment. You have to stop racing to get to the future. Accept all of your thoughts as they come and all them to go. You must breakup with caring about the past. Of course, I have compassion for you and understand that you are hurting, but these words matter. Attempting to stay mentally present and in the moment is the path to heal. If you think healing is going happen like a light switch, then you must change your target. That is the wrong target. Healing is a process. You must be patient and aim at this target: In order for you to heal, you must take it day-by-day, and you have to be patient with yourself.
If you’re NEW TO ME, I have seven International best-selling books that have inspired millions. I have spoken in 50 cities and my purpose is to inspire readers to heal, to cultivate genuine connections and to find individual purpose.